Just low

Lance is ok, went back to work on Monday. His recovery has been good. We are both pretty tense re the surgery results, we get them end Nov. At least we'll know what's what for sure tho.

My excema is bad, and Lance says I am grating my teeth at night and scratching my skin, which is not good! But I do this when I am stressed. My nails are all gone too (what's new!). I am trying to be upbeat but have to say I have never felt as low as over the last few months.

My dad's death in July, Lance's op, trying to have a baby for so long, my excema and probs with ankles hasn't helped matters I don't think. I keep giving myself a talking to... just gotta soldier on and put a brave face on. We hardly socialise at all... have become like hermits to be honest. Too tired and just don't want to see people, and pretend we are fine, when we are not, not till we know what's happening.

We have also found out we will only be able to apply for British citizenship in a year's time, not NOW, as we thought we could. Bally frustrating! The bloke at the SA consular told us today - we could not believe it! We had other docs from the British Embassy, spent many ££ etc. to get this far, and now this (crucial!) info we weren't told about... anyway, will chat with the British Embassy on Mon to clarify things finally, but am pretty sure we have to get yet another visa, and fork out another £500 for it... wait a year and then apply for citizenship. At east we have passed the test which is good... but we'll have to redo the letters from the various places/embassies so the dates are cirrent. Groan.

Anyway, such is life and we have so much to be grateful for (like our JOBS and a roof over our heads!) in this current climate... we celebrate 7 years marriage next week and I am so grateful for him... he is my heartbeat.

Have you done your Christmas shopping yet?? I have :)