Tuesday, 29 July 2008

Dad 's cremation

As it turns out, his brothers are not arranging the private cremation, my brother is. There will be no service as he was pretty much a hermit the last decade or so, only had his gf (a bit of a wild one at that!).

I'll give you a little background.

He has had such trouble from my father the last few years, as he is the only sibling left in South Africa. Some of you know he sued us 4 kids for maintenance at the beginning of 2007... a seemingly weird law in SA. Note he never paid maintenance his entire life to us... he has hardly been in our life and played no role, except when he wanted something and then he switched to *your father needs help* mode. My mum (bless her) never turned him away.

We have never felt obligated to help him as kids as he has never been a dad, but we did feel it was our Christian duty to help a man in need... as we would anyone. For the last 5 years we have been paying for a funeral policy, paid for all his food and monthly supplies, and extra things he needed, like a walker.

He sued us because he wanted to have us pay for a full-time carer for him and he didn't want the food delivered, he wanted CASH. And we weren't keen to feed his smoking and drinking habits! The judge (and his own lawyer!) thought the claim was ridiculous and we have just continued with our old arrangement.

He had gone into hospital for a blocked intestine, which they unblocked, and they then saw what a terrible state his insides were. He had advanced lung disease (thanks to the many ciggies he has smoked since a teen), and his kidneys were nigh on failing (thanks to his alcohol prob).

He has used a walker for the last year or so, as he looked about 85. Amazing what smoking and drinking does to you. He is proof of that. I went to my gruncles (great uncle) 80th birthday bash last weekend and he and his pals look younger than him - shows what a healthy and good life does for you.

So I am not mourning the loss of a dad (as crass as that may seem to some of you), for he never was one. But I mourn the loss of a human being and mourn the fact he wasted his life, and what never was. He was very clever and would have gone far... both his brothers are multi-millionaires... and he let his habits and rubbish lifestyle waste his life away. He missed out on getting to know 4 fab kids and doesn't know he has 3 grandkids and one on the way.

So there you have it. Loads more to share, he really was a rotter :(

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