Tuesday, 24 May 2011

24 May

Today is the 'biological one's' birthday.
My late father's birthday.

I always feel funny on this day,
a mix of sadness and regret,
never having celebrated it with him,
him being absent in our lives always...
but since his death his birthday feels different.
I feel numb. And flat.
Such sadness for a man I hardly knew,
and the small part he did play in our lives was not pleasant.
I think my sorrow is because it is so finite,
the relationship that never was,
and there's now no chance of any kind of reconciliation.
Absolutely no chance of him asking for forgiveness,
and us perhaps forming a relationship,
father and daughter...
as he's gone. Forever.

A little reminder to treasure those you hold dear,
when they're gone, they're gone.
And for those family members who we might not particularly like...
to try and make a step toward changing things with them.

Who knows what tomorrow might bring?

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