I couldn't wait and so, sensing it was the right time to broach the subject (and it was doing my head in), I chatted to Lance last night as he lazed in the bath. He could hardly not listen as I gently massaged some aromatherapy body scrub into his back now could he ;)
I have decided to put myself first for once. That we are thousands of miles away helps. I am not going. Lance is not happy about it at all, but realises that due to P's behaviour towards me, that it's the best thing for ME.
Lance is not fooled by the pretence that there is nothing ever wrong. They do not communicate about real nitty gritty stuff, so nothing ever gets sorted out! He was so non-communicative when we first got together, and is the first to admit that's something he's learnt from me... to communicate and be truthful with yourself and those around you.
He is a family person though and wants nothing more than to have us all together bless him... but as I had to acknowledge the type of father I had many years ago (certified psychopath, abandonment of 4 kids, alcoholic, womanising etc.), and that things were never going to work out never mind how much I wished it, he has to do the same with his.
Whether he tells them the real reason why I won't be there, or says it's due to my business committments, I have left that up to him. It's his family. He must deal with it. I owe them no explanations, Lance understands and that's all that matters.
A husband who puts his wife before his family... I am so proud of him. Saddened that I've had to make this decision, but I have had 8 years of always doing the right 'Christian' thing and pretending that being ignored and rudely spoken to doesn't hurt, and enough is enough.
Fun and games.